“The Privilege of a Life Time” by Peter Metzner


The privilege of a lifetime is being
who you are.
The goal of the hero trip
down to your jewel point
is to find those levels in the psyche
That open, open, open,
and finally open to the mystery
of your self
being Buddha consciousness,
the Christ.

That’s the journey
(Joseph Campbell) Reflections on the Art of Living – A Joseph Campbell Companion

“Find a place where there is joy and the joy will burn out the pain” .

According to Campbell, Satan is the epitome of the intractable ego. That part of ourselves needing to be right, to defend ourselves, feeling separate, better than or not as good as others depending on our beliefs, dogma and life’s situations. Hell is the concretization of your life experiences, a place where you’re stuck, the wasteland. In hell, we blame others for our condition and are so bound to ourselves that grace cannot enter. What is hellish is being stuck without hope, without relief.*

How we mature, depends on taking responsibility for our choices, no longer blaming others, or expecting rescue from them. And to acknowledge the pain of loneliness however much we are invested in social roles and relationships. (James Hollis) Swamplands of The Soul. The mature person i.e. one who is psychologically free : “is confident in his inner world, responsible for his strengths and weaknesses, consciously able to love himself, and thus, able to love others”…. Marion Woodman

In a simple and poignant description of the human condition, and of growth; Jolande Jacobi, a Jungian analyst writes: “Like a seed growing into a tree, life unfolds stage by stage. Triumphant ascent, collapse, crises, failures, and new beginnings strew the way. It is the path trodden by the great majority of people, as a rule unreflectingly, unconsciously, unsuspectingly, following its labyrinthine windings from birth to death in hope and longing. It is hedged about with struggle and suffering, joy and sorrow, guilt and error, and nowhere is there security from catastrophe. For as soon as a man tries to escape every risk and prefers to experience life only in his head, in the form of ideas and fantasies, as soon as he surrenders to opinions of ‘how it ought to be’ and, in order not to make a false step, imitates others when possible, he forfeits the chance of his own independent development. Only if he treads the path bravely and flings himself into life, fearing no struggle and no exertion and fighting shy of no experience, will he mature his personality more fully than the man who is ever trying to keep to the safe side of the road.”
J. Jacobe, The Way of Individuation

There are two gremlins we face every morning.

Fear: I am too tiny it is too hard… I can’t do it.

Lethargy: – chill out tomorrow is another day…

Each will eat us alive… Fear and lethargy are the enemy they are not out there they are inside
Carl Jung wrote: The spirit of evil is the negation of live force by fear… only boldness can overcome that fear.
If the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is violated”

Our task is to recover our personal authority and discern the meaning of our lives.
Who are we to stand in its way?

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Stepping Into Your Vision by Peter Metzner


“I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens.  I’ve knocked from the inside.” — Rumi

All of our trouble flows from being separated from our instincts.  C.G. Jung

Freud stated that “The price of civilization is neurosis”.   Neurosis meaning being someone you are not,  being split from your natural truth and being defined by an external definition of who you are.   Living a life that is authentically yours;  means being connected to your passion,  using and developing your gifts and natural abilities  in ways that are meaningful, useful and satisfying.   This is what vocational  integration is.    To get to this place requires some reflection and being  ‘real”  with your self.    Asking the larger and important questions can greatly help this process.

Below are powerful questions from James Hollis, PhD   that can help ease access to deeper insights.   Asking the “right”  questions;  stimulates our thinking  to seek to find answers.   We need   to ask and  be open and receptive to the messages we get.  Having solitude and quiet  allows us to hear and discern the answers that come.     Each may take some time so you may want to choose the one or ones that  resonate the most with you at this time.   

The Questions:

  • How do you know what is true for you?   How did you lose your personal authority in the first place?   Did you lose it through adapting  to circumstances?
  • What core ideas – are the defining ideas of my life?
  • What has brought you to this point in your life?  Fate?  Family influences?
  • What parts of history have framed your world?  Are there repeating patterns that make us prisoners of our history?
  • Which pieces or parts of your life are working  for you?
  • What constricts you?
  • What messages did you internalize?  i.e.  We are here to make money;  I have to be perfect,  successful;  have children and make them successful…
  • Why does so much feel like a script that has been written for you?
  • Am I choosing  security over truth?
  • Am I doing  what my peers do?
  • Do I change and grow and how?
  • Why is so much a disappointment?
  • Why do I hide so much from others?
  • What gets pushed underground in my unconscious?
  • Where do I experience the transcendent?

According to Jung, the highest calling is an appointment with our “self”.  We have an appointment with ourselves and not all of us keep it.     We need to mindful and discern where spirit is working in all areas of our lives. If the life we have lived has been too small and it may be too small for most of us;   the task of recovering ourselves is opening to largeness of our journey.

There are two  gremlins we face every morning.

Fear: I am too tiny it is too hard…  I can’t  do it.

 Lethargy:  – chill out tomorrow is another day…

Each will eat us alive… Fear and lethargy are the enemy, they are not out there they are inside.  We awaken only to fall back into the  comfort of our past life.

Jung also wrote:  ” The Spirit of evil is the negation of live force by fear… only boldness can overcome that fear.

If the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is violated.”

We all have a task and it is;  the recovery of personal authority and discerning the meaning of our lives.  Who are we to stand in its way?  We are responsible for finding meaning in our lives.

We can look at symptoms like depression, anxiety, addictions and compulsions as ruptures in our false self.   James Hollis also writes this is the psyche or our “self” trying to break out of the confines of the acquired or false self.    So welcome a symptom.  The psyche which has been captive may have a different agenda than the one our ego or acquired identity is following.    Symptoms may be the psyche no longer able to cooperate in going along the path we are taking.  Similar to the reins of a horse correcting us when we stray.

Jung believed  that every patient knew at some all level what they needed to do.   We all need to become our own psychotherapists
and heal the bridge and split from our natural truth.   The self knows you have always known.   This is the knowledge of the head in service to the knowledge of the heart which gives insight and the courage to live our lives.

If you knew what you are truly capable of, would you move forward into your life with tremendous enthusiasm and very little self-doubt?
Find  your voice and a place in your life where your brilliance  can shine through.  There is  something we all can do to bring us a sense of satisfaction and meaning.   Find  what you love the most in life.  Search inside for that deep passion or restlessness, and allow  yourself  the quiet and peace to give it full expression.
There is genius in every one of us, as a natural part of our birthright.  Let it come out.  The German Poet Rilke wrote: “Our task is to be defeated by ever larger things” .
References and suggested reading:
Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life: How to Finally Really Grow up James Hollis PH.D, Gotham books New York, NY 2006
Why Good People Do Bad Things:  Understanding our Darker Selves.  James Hollis PH.D Gotham books New York, NY 2007
Memories Dreams , Reflections.  Carl Gustav Jung  Random House, Inc. 1963
 

 

Overcoming Addictions and Compulsions: “Finding Your Self” by Peter Metzner


If something out side of your self is the reason you are happy;  you are hostage to it.  Ekhard  Tolle

In over 15 years in being in the field of Human Development, I have seen no correlation with having a lot of material things and “happiness”.   Money is important and ranks along  with oxygen to live.   Yet, when there is enough oxygen to breathe  it doesn’t register in our awareness of needs.

Neuroscience has found that money or accumulating money stimulates the pleasure centers of our brains.      If we are happy, have supportive relationships and are living meaningfully and with purpose,  material comforts can  enhance our sense of well-being.   However,  if we are unhappy,  we are  like hungry ghosts.   Searching and driven yet never satisfied.  Riches, material comfort, distractions etc.  can’t make us happy if we are anxious, driven, unhappy or suffering from low self-esteem or lack of meaning.   If materialistic ambition becomes a substitute for our intrinsic needs for giving and receiving love and doing work that is “right” for us, we can become addicted in the pursuit of diversions, pleasure, accumulating “things” , titles, accomplishments, etc.

Neuroscientist Robert Sapolsky, PhD  explains, “dopamine levels increase as soon as we start anticipating a reward. Once the dopamine starts flowing, monkeys and people will work and work and work expecting  a treat.  For monkeys,  a grape is usually enough.   For people, the treats include:  a pair of sneakers, a shiny car, an MBA that might lead to a high-paying job, early retirement, a couple of minutes of entertaining diversion, a few seconds of sexual gratification, etc…    Monkeys and people’s neurochemistry  function virtually the same!    The main difference: “Monkeys don’t get hooked on beliefs, ideologies, dogma, degrees, titles, fantasies, lies, empty promises, or self-deceptions” .

What is known about addictions:

  • Any behavior that can deliver a dopamine reward can become an addiction.
  • The more powerful the addiction, the greater the denial, the weaker the free will, the more likely addicts are to detest any information that threatens to keep them from feeding their addictions.
  • It’s possible to get addicted to safety, peer approval, and esteem.   (The dopamine project)

Using brain scanning equipment, researchers have found that there is basically one addiction—dopamine addiction. When heroin addicts shoot up, the street drug tells their brains to produce dopamine. Heroin is a trigger.  Dopamine flow creates the sensation of being ‘high.’ When it comes to scoring dopamine rewards, there are many triggers. For some the trigger is cocaine. For others it’s nicotine, alcohol, sex, gambling, or food.  Street drugs are physical dopamine triggers that are hard to deny because they need the ingesting, inhaling, or injecting of addictive substances.  Sadly, physical dopamine addictions destroy lives and wreak societal damage.  Researchers have recently added video games and texting to the list. Yet the most dangerous dopamine triggers include easy to deny psychological addictions. Psychological dopamine addictions may be more insidious because addictive emotions, memories, thoughts, fantasies, ideologies, rhetoric, and deceptions also trigger release of  dopamine.

An addiction is anything you can’t stop doing and it serves as an anxiety management system.  Along with addictions come formidable psychological defenses.  They include self-deception, denial, and a lack of morality that can even lead to a capacity for murder.   Reason, integrity, morality and a distaste for lying, cheating, stealing, and killing  that non-addicts value are often no match to addicts of:   power, money, fame, substances etc.   We see  in history and current events “examples of unstoppable, unreasonable, inhumane, addict/killers attacking, vilifying, and eliminating reasoning, humane, non-addict/non-killers” (The Dopamine Project)

Addicts have an amazing capacity to dismiss and deny facts, truth, and reason.   “Dopamine flow fuels addictions: More dopamine = yes, like, do more while dopamine withdrawal = stop, hate, avoid. “Thinking”   justifies, rationalizes, and defends  dopamine-influenced decisions”. (The Dopamine Project)  In other words,  intelligence  in the service of  addiction.

One of the most addictive abstractions is money.  Someone  addicted to alcohol or drugs, increasingly organizes their life  around the use and abuse of their substance(s) of choice.  The person who uses money to mood alter can have their relationship with money spin out of control; by being overly focused on accumulating it, spending it, hoarding it or using it to control people, places and things. For example,  as with a drug or alcohol, tolerance increases and a person  may find him/ herself needing to devote increasingly larger amounts of time to these activities, to get the same mood altering high that only a little once provided.  They become increasingly preoccupied with all things related to getting and maintaining their “substance”  excluding  other areas of living.  Gradually, just like any addict, money and the relationship with money becomes a primary preoccupation.   (Tian Dayton, PhD)    Personal drives and identity become so wrapped up around money  that they lose sight of who “they really are” .

No matter how much they have, money addicts crave more.    As with all addictions, the first pleasure is soon replaced by cravings and withdrawal.  Acquiring more money only increases stress levels which keep money addicts craving more money while worrying about losing what they already have.  Money is highly addictive because it quickly and easily converts into other dopamine triggers that feed other addictions like drugs, foods, sex, gambling, approval, status, and power.  The corrupting influences of money addiction everywhere and at every level of society.

So what does this have to do with Finding your “Self”. 

“Since our capacity for Self deception is truly monumental”  (Yorum Kaufam ) Self Awareness and  Self Mastery entails being aware:  of who we really are, what truly matters, the emotions that drive our behaviors, being able to “regulate or manage them,  knowing our passions, our talents, owning our weaknesses and:   what our “Self”,  Psyche or Soul are asking of us.  This is an awareness of what we truly value and a growing understanding  of our place in the world and connection to the transcendent.  To get there,  we need to recognize the mine fields, the seductions and powerful conditioning  of society that  pulls us to these  baser levels of living, wanting  and consuming.  Freud wrote that “The price of civilization is neurosis” – neuroses defined as  ” being someone who you are not”.

Rather than conform mindlessly or automatically to the expectations of  society,  we can  listen to that small voice. If we are quiet and still enough, summoning the will to live a life that is authentically ours.   “When we allow our light to shine we give permission for others lights to shine” ( Marian Williamson)    The great change agents throughout history, Christ, Buddha, Mohammed, Gandhi, Mandela, Martin Luther King, etc.  all answered their summons to raise human consciousness, be in relationship to the transcendent,  live mindfully, ethically and see all of humanity as family.

It is OK  to not fully know our  selves or our true North.   The beginning of wisdom is to realize what you don’t know.  To get there requires openness, receptivity and  mindfulness.    I was forty before shifting into my role of teaching, coaching & training.   By  seeking to stay true to yourself, your values and what energizes you is the compass that helps in finding your way.

The Greek god Aesculapius decreed “that it  is through suffering we come to wisdom” .   Avoidance of suffering can lead to and fuel addictions, compulsions and flights from reality.  (James Hollis) Suffering can also give us empathy, understanding and insights which can help others work through their pain.  Being fully human is to experience the full range of emotions.  Being aware and   experiencing   “all”  emotions enables us to live more fully,  better exercise  free will,  intentionality and grow into the person we are meant  to be.

 “There is hope for the world if enough people do their inner work“. C. G. Jung

References and suggested readings:

The Dopamine Project – Better Living Through Dopamine Awareness : see  http://dopamineproject.org/

Swamplands Of  The Soul – New Life in Dismal Places, James Hollis inner City Books  1996

What Makes Your Brain Happy and Why You Should do the Opposite.  David Disalvo Prometheus Books  2011.

River of Time Guided Visualization and Relaxation Process by Peter Metzner


How ready or able are you to: 

  • Eliminate stress?
  • Sustain self-confidence in the most challenging situations?
  • Maintain a healthy perspective towards life challenges?
  • Letting go of self-limiting beliefs?
  • Discovering your true life’s goals?
  • Staying  calm?
  • Generating a good nights sleep 365 days a year?
  • Enjoying a greater engagement with life?
  • Maximizing your energy all day long?
  • Dealing with the complexities of life?

For the price of a decent bottle of wine you can change your mood and life forever. 

I  made a CD and audio of a guided visualization and relaxation process I have been doing with various groups for over twelve years.  After going through the process,  many report:  increased self-confidence, sense of well-being, a healthier perspective, ability to  connect to meaningful goals, greater calmness and focus as well as sleeping better and having more energy!

The River of Time Audio enables you to experience  deep relaxation, allows you to release stress and let go of self-limiting beliefs.

It is crucial for health and mental well being to activate the the relaxation response daily.   A relaxed body relaxes the mind, giving a much greater capacity to manage life’s challenges.   It is clinically impossible to be anxious or stressed while the body is relaxed!

There are numerous ways to activate the relaxation response.    Gardening, golf, walking,  meditation and yoga to name a few.  An advantage of the guided visualization and relaxation  process is that not only does it assist  in achieving a deep state of relaxation – it  helps in letting go of self limiting beliefs and can you connect to the  true  North of your  inner compass.

After facilitating dozens of this process live to students, teachers, and people from all walks of life, many have connected to deeper and more meaningful goals;  and experienced the calmness, focus and drive to take action in going after them!

I hope you will experience this proven process.  Below is a  testimonial:

“I really enjoyed the River of Time CD!  After listening to the River of Time CD I experienced that I slept better than I had in a long while. Those 20 minutes were the most stress-free, relaxing, and encouraging 20 minutes ever!”
Once again, thank you!  Mollie D.

River of Time CD

The River of Time audio can be ordered for $9.99 from http://dynamicchangeinc.com/blog/shop/shop/river-of-time-digital-audio-download/

Or a  CD for 14.99 (Free Shipping) from:  http://dynamicchangeinc.com/blog/shop/shop/river-of-time-cd/

Please send your comments. They will be helpful for others to see!

Inner Security Strategies by Peter Metzner


Defense mechanism or Security Operations.  We all have them, and whether we know it or not,  they protect us against pain (Growth is often painful)  rather than deal with situations in healthy or responsible ways.

Projection: Of course you have heard of the “Pot calling the Kettle Black”?  Here is how projection works:

Whatever I don’t like or recognize in myself when I see it in you I will become angry!  The key to understanding projection is the emotional charge we feel in an encounter with someone else. What I don’t like (or what I do like) is usually a quality I have that I am not aware of or owning.  A quality like rudeness (which we don’t like to own) often gets projected onto to others. When we experience someone else being rude we get angry and upset.   It is almost like being in a hall of mirrors – the outer reality we see is  in many ways a reflection of the projection of our inner reality.  Almost like a movie projector projecting onto a a screen. In this case the screen is our lives.  So if deep down inside one feels unlovable,  he will act in a way to make others behave to justify how he (or she secretly feels).   He will then tend to make an assumption that people are:  not nice or mean spirited or can’t be trusted.   Thus perpetuate painful relationships at work or with friends or family.   It is like a being  magician  fooling  himself  into thinking the illusion of what is being experienced is real!

If one is not aware of being critical and judgmental;  then  interactions with someone who is perceived to have these qualities will often trigger anger and hurt.   The tendency to judge or treat others disrespect can be justified because they deserve it!    Remember there are compelling payoffs to this.  It feels good to believe we are superior or better than the person we judge. It gives a false sense of security and even power.   We don’t have to change or suffer the shame, guilt or remorse that comes along with the realization we have wronged someone or imprisoned them in our judgments about them.

This self defeating orientation though  keeps us stuck and prevents us from having the healthy and collaborative relationships we need to be healthy and generative in our work and life.   It is particularly hurtful when rigid principles or religious beliefs are held.   If I believe that I am good and right and my way is the only way – and you don’t believe what I believe you must be wrong, misguided, even evil.   My principles or faith can be used to justify to treating you badly,  judging you or with contempt.    For example if you think your significant other or employee is incompetent you can justify being contemptuous, controlling and blame them for shutting down, not being engaged or even depressed.

We project collectively as well as individually.  Starting a war, dominating others, performing ethnic cleansing or genocide is actually frighteningly easy.  All we need to do is demonize our enemy, make people afraid of them and smear those that don’t support us as unpatriotic. By making people afraid it is easier to control them and  discriminate against the “out”  groups.

It is one of the oldest tricks used in history  (If  history teaches us one thing we don’t learn from history) and easy. For example,  Hitler realized that a lie repeated often enough no matter how far removed from truth will be accepted as fact.    The Nazis projected onto the Jews the worst qualities that they could not face in themselves. They blamed the Jewish people for Germany’ problems; accusing them about wanting to take over the mass media, universities, the financial markets, the country even the world.  Even the German women!  All this described  the Nazi’s!   These beliefs laid the foundation for them to murder over six million people for the crime of being Jewish.    Then they did what they blamed the Jews for:   The Nazis  took over the banks, industry, controlled mass media, and higher education, started WWII and treated the German women like cows whose main purpose was to reproduce and be servile.

Psychologists’ have shown that the unspeakable atrocities that were committed by the Nazi’ s  is not only a German phenomena – we all have this  capacity as well. Witness the  ethnic cleansing of Rwanda, the Sudan and our own Native Americans (in a noble sounding term like Manifest destiny).  Indigenous peoples all over the world have been  under assault. ( Derrick Jenkins)  One day I hope that religions will all live up to the teachings of their prophets and be a source of healing the worlds pain rather than being a cause of it.  As so aptly put: Nobody know the age of man but everyone agrees he should know better. (unkown)   “Man’s capacity for self deception is truly monumental”. Yoram Kaufman.

An important key to being responsible and having a healthy relationship to self and others is to own your projections. So whenever you get angry or emotionally charged at someone during an encounter – ask yourself what part of me I am not owning?    Then notice how the energy of the encounter shifts.  You will be able to better see who that person is.

As Marion Woodman writes:  “To be psychologically free is to be confident in our own inner world, responsible for our own strengths and weaknesses, consciously loving ourselves, and therefore, able to love others”  It is up to each of to be more conscious, self aware and mindful of our impact on others.  Carl Jung was asked if there is hope for the world and he said ” There is hope – if enough people do their inner work”   For our outer world to be healed;  enough of us need to take this journey.  It all begins with a first step.